Do you suffer a
flash of fear at the thought of how to greet people in Europe? Is a kiss
inappropriate? Should you double or triple kiss? Is a handshake a bit formal? Allay
you concerns, read on.
With the vast number
of countries at such close proximity, each with their own ideas about what is
standard by way of greeting, Europe offers a plethora of options to put your
foot in it. Practicing graceful social etiquette in such circumstances can be a
tricky business. Never fear, wherever you go people are people, and most
understand that if you are not local you may have different customs. Dive into
new encounters prepared to follow the lead of others and take the occasional
mis-kiss in good humour, and you will be fine. Perhaps most importantly, remember
that a smile goes a long way.
A general idea to
keep in mind is that Northern European nations are often more formal in their
greetings than those from southern European countries and the ones on the
Mediterranean, who are often more touchy-feely.
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| Handshakes are commonly accepted greetings in most of Europe |
The British are
friendlier than their rather prudish and formal reputation and tend to greet
each other with a warm handshake and an important glimpse of eye contact.
People are introduced using titles in formal settings. In more casual
encounters people may hug each other in greeting. Friends and relatives may offer
a single kiss on the cheek.
France
The French are
possibly the most confusing nation in Europe when it comes to greetings. In
most of France two cheek kisses is the norm but in some places it is three and
in others four, meaning that arriving at and leaving gatherings can be a
time-consuming process. If in any doubt let the French person take the lead. The
French are very concerned with politeness and will always greet strangers with
a ‘Bonjour Monsieur’ or ‘Bonjour Madame’. They keep things formal until invited
to do otherwise.
Netherlands
Cheek kissing is
also widely practiced in the Netherlands where one kiss is normal in the north
and three is standard in the south. Men will not usually kiss each other but
shake hands instead. The Dutch are fairly reserved when greeting each other but
hold politeness in high respect. Eye contact is expected and an absence of it
may be understood to indicate someone is uninterested or lying.
Germany
By contrast
Germans tend to be more formal and stick to handshakes. Titles are used when meeting
people for the first time. In more casual settings two cheek kisses and a hug
may be offered. When meeting a group of people you are expected to greet
everyone on arriving and on departing. Leaving a gathering without appropriate
departure greeting is considered rude and is referred to as ‘The Polish Retreat’.
Germans also like to see each others’ hands and keeping your hands in your
pockets while speaking is considered disrespectful.
Belgium
Belgians tend to
be conservative and a handshake with everyone in the room, including children, is
normal but once people are familiar three cheek kisses is the norm. It is also
proper to greet everyone when departing. When being introduced to others it is
normal to repeat your surname.
Russia
Greetings are
typically formal in Russia and may even seem unfriendly as people do not
necessarily smile. Gloves should be removed before a handshake, which should
not take place over a threshold as it is believed to lead to arguments. Russians
often stand very close when speaking together which can seem intimidating. Female
friends offer each other three cheek kisses. Male friends may pat each other on
the back.
Spain
The liveliness
and generally high noise levels in Spain, it can be argued, are largely
attributable to the constant greetings dished out between Spaniards. Verbal
greetings are frequent and friendly. Shaking hands and cheek kissing, starting
with the right cheek, is standard. Men may slap each other on the back instead
of kissing.
Italy
Initial greetings
between strangers retain a certain formality in Italy, with everyone greeting
each other with handshakes, and simultaneous eye contact is expected. It is
best not to use first names until invited to do so. However, Italian greetings
are often enthusiastic and friends share cheek kisses, usually starting with
the left. Be aware that Italians pepper their speech with hand gestures but be
very careful to understand gestures properly before attempting to use them
yourself.
Greece
Greeks will shake
hands on initial meetings but tend to be more affectionate and cheek kissing is
common, although not between strangers. Back slapping is more common than hand
shaking between friends. In most regions of Greece cheek kissing is common
between female friends and between men and women, but in some areas men will
also cheek kiss other men. Small value is given to personal space in Greek
culture and friends will often be seen touching each other on the shoulders or
back while talking.
Turkey
When meeting for
the first time a handshake is normal in Turkey and for men who know each other
sharing cheek kisses is standard. Cheek kissing between women is also common,
but unusual with strangers. In contrast to much of Europe it is not common for
men and women to share cheek kisses unless they are very close friends or
relatives. Two cheek kisses is the norm. When meeting elders respect is
demonstrated by kissing their right hand and placing it against the forehead of
the younger party.
Where have you
encountered a greeting that is different from what you are used to?
Photo credits: Oneras and buddawiggi
Photo credits: Oneras and buddawiggi
